I'm feeling.....

just not myself.

I don't know what it is. But I feel like I'm breaking inside. Like I got to face facts that I'm getting old. I gotta start taking care of myself more. I gotta keep my guard up my guess.

And then I got to remember to be more thankful. God, I don't know how to explain it.

I had a panic attack while watching DOOM. Now is that crazy or what?

Denny and I went to see it. And I guess I got a bad case of heartburn. I don't know. It just happened in the middle of that movie.

I mean, there we are. The girls trusting us enough to actually, let us go to this MUST SEE MOVIE. I mean, Denny and I've been playing that stupid video game since we were kids. And THE ROCK was SARGE. So you know, we just gotta. Course, so way could I get Kate to go. She's hung up on KING KONG. She and Val are going to wait in line to see that tomorrow. Val got free passes, but you gotta get there early and all. And I can't get off work.

But WHAM..I'm sitting there and BLACK HOLE comes to mind. God, freaked me out. I wasn't sure if I wanted to shit myself or throw up. Finally, I belched.

But I've been in this freak'n mood ever since, you know. And I hate carrying this around with me. This feeling. Sad and shit. Don't know how to explain it to Kate. Don't even want too. I just...want to hold her you know. Like, I'm afraid that memory of the smell of her sweet hair, her scent will leave me.

I just feel sick.

I guess Denny considers me his friend now.

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