I'm trying to stay cool. Trying to be calm.

I remember Jules and how it was. And yeah, yeah, maybe its me. All me. Fuck'n me.

Maybe its the strange reality, I want to know if my sperm works. That simple.

Am I an asshole or what?

I talked to Mom. She knows. And I know the shit will hit the fan with Kate knows that my Mom knows about this whole baby thing.

I just don't know if I'm ready for that kind of fight with her. I didn't mean to upset her. And I know what she's gonna say, "You can't until your Mom's strings..." Some thing like that.

Hey, I can still talk to my Mom about stuff. Ok. Is that so awful? I had to talk to somebody. Couldn't very well mention it to Denny. I can't talk like that with him. I just can't.

So..just waiting..see what happens next.

Hopefully, I can watch THE ANIMAL with out going crazy.

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